So I went to a thing for a group I’m involved with this past weekend and I hated it. They didn’t have enough seating in the front, so I had to sit in the back of the room which was bad because I had to present something. It was because of the stupid caterers. I don’t know why they didn’t say something to them before hand. GRRRR!

It got to the point where my pain was so bad that it was so painful to walk from one end of the room to the next and to make matters worse, I didn’t bring a cane.

A couple of days before that, I was walking my sister’s dog and he pulled me which caused me to fall and twist my ankle. I sprained it. Turns out the muscles are weak because of all the injuries I’ve had. I really did some damage to myself when I was younger.

So now I’m sitting here in pain. My doctor gave me a script for a new pain medication which is like an amped up Tylenol but the insurance company won’t cover it without a prior authorization, so my doctor’s got to fight with them. They are giving me five days worth but I’m like, “Why bother?”

I have a feeling that I’ll end this year and begin next year like I ended last year and began this year…going through PT just so I can see a pain management doctor who will end up doing injections on my back.

Things can’t get any worse…or can they?

-Marie

Hey fellow fibro fighters,

Sorry you haven’t heard much from me lately! I’ve been busy with work—my two jobs seem to fill much of my time and it’s truly a good thing that I enjoy them. I often end up working nearly 12 hours a day though which isn’t good for me pain wise. Fibromyalgia sucks especially when you end up standing much of the day.
Fibrofog has been getting me too as a result of the long days. My mind and speech often get all jumbled. which isn’t good. The good news is that one of those jobs is providing health insurance so woohoo! The income will also allow me to hopefully get an apartment too…

I’m also having a bout of ‘the lonlies’ and it’s getting me a bit down. I need to find a friend that is willing to come and veg. I also need to find things to do with people my age but I never have energy and seemingly no time.

Pray for me followers. I’ll be praying for you. God bless.
Kalyn

So I don’t know about the other contributors, but I’m still alive.

Thursday we had the funeral for my aunt. It wasn’t nothing…just a service at the cemetery.

Friday I took a mental health day and went around Philly. Hurt like hell but it was worth it. And today I went to a fire prevention event that my friend’s fire house was having.

Tomorrow it’s just church which is good because I have a bit of a headache right now. Ouch.

-Marie

I didn’t mean to have a lack of posts. I’ve been going through some stuff.

In late August, I managed to hurt my knee. It kept locking up on me and then one day I was walking up the steps when it popped. The doctors in the ER swore it was probably a meniscus injury but here it was just because my kneecap is out of alignment. I’m finishing up PT for that.

Then my mom was in the hospital. She’s okay though. We knew earlier in August that she had some blockages in her heart but that wasn’t the problem. She had a muscle spasm and fell. She thought she had a heart attack but she didn’t. The doctors ran a bunch of tests and found no damage to her heart. She did, however, have some bruised ribs.

I’ve been having flare-ups left and right. It’s not good.

Then yesterday was the darkest day in the last five months. I had one aunt on my dad’s side that I could talk to and she wouldn’t pass judgement. She had a little bit of an episode that landed her in the hospital back in May. Turns out she had problems with her lungs. Then two weeks later she had what the doctors at one hospital (which I don’t know why it’s still in business because the doctors there are stupid) thought was a seizure. She went to a rehab center and had a stroke. The rehab center sent her to a better hospital (which I know because I volunteer there) and she was touch and go. One minute she’d be great, the next she’d be in ICU. She got well enough to be sent back to rehab. She was sent to one that didn’t do ANYTHING for her and she developed an infection and was sent back to the hospital. The infection cleared but she was going downhill fast. They sent her to a hospice in Philadelphia where they told my cousins on Thursday that she’d only last a couple of days. About 12 hours after the nurses told her that, she died.

I’m crushed beyond belief. This happened around 5 AM on Friday and my mom told me 12 hours later when she went to pick me up at the hospital. I spent the whole evening on Tumblr because I didn’t want to talk to anyone. This is just the worst thing that happened to me in five months. Even worse than that April afternoon when a doctor in Philadelphia told me that I have Fibromyalgia. Even worse than when several relatives shunned me from their lives because I stood up to their friends who were saying negative things about Fibromyalgia and the Catholic Church (I bet you if my one cousin had Fibro and was a practicing Catholic, they wouldn’t say anything though because to them, she is the “golden child”). It’s just crushing.

It is now 1 AM on Saturday morning. I desperately want to sleep but I can’t. I’m in so much physical and emotional pain. You guys don’t know how much I want to go to sleep and wake up to realize that the last five months were all a dream. It’s not going to happen, I know. That’s what upsets me.

So I’m still here. And if anyone wants to talk to me, I guess you can put something in my ask if you don’t follow me (my Tumblr user name is groban-lover) or you can e-mail me at grobanlover78@hotmail.com. I’ll find it comforting, trust me.

-Marie